This can't be happening to us..

I don't believe it...my daughter is going to jail! Without all the details, she is in a psychiatric facility now being evaluated for competency. She will be there for a couple more weeks.

We are not horrible people or parents. I still think I am in shock as I feel so numb, dead inside.

That said I thought I could let her know whats going on and my thoughts. I don't know, maybe all this is verbal vomiting, purging myself of feelings. My mind is so scattered and unfocused. It's been a week now and I've debated starting writing again so here it goes...

You have no idea what you have done to yourself. So adult, don't want to listen to anyone. Look what you did to yourself! Look at what you have done to your father. I don't know how you can stand yourself knowing you have made your hero cry on a regular basis. Because my heart physically aches everytime I see him. I am here trying to be strong for all of us. I can barely leave the house to go to work. Speaking of which I have had to inform my boss and co workers of your predictament as I have no idea where this is going. Your dad has done the same. I don't know how we are ever going to be able to go to the grocery store.

Thankfully we have a lot of people that love us - friends and family alike and for that I (we) are eternally greatful. However that doesn't take away the overwhelming sadness and emptyness that overcomes us when we are alone or stop moving. This is not the life we planned when you were a little girl for any of us. We had dreams for us - for you. And now they are shattered.

How can we celebrate anything? Christmas? Your birthday? Please tell me how? Easter is in two weeks - tell me please how we are going to get through this. Not being able to do even the littlest thing for you, for us....I can't stand this. Last Saturday I had an absolute melt down over a pizza pan. I can kiss those nights goodbye. No more girl nites.

As we have told you many times over the years, you are a representative of this family. What you do affects us. The world is not just all about you. You seriously need to recognize that and grow up.

The story has made the paper, no names for now though. But your friends names are in it and it won't take a genius to put things together.

It's a goreous spring day today - I'm sorry you are going to miss it.