It's Friday and it's supposed to snow...again. The holiday's are officially over for 2010-11 as I took the tree down last night. The living room seems so sad with out it. This year I did a firefighter themed tree. Every ornament was fireman related with gold balls and white lights. It's my favorite tree.
Goal for 2011:
1. Find some type of blogging class and do it! I would love to incorporate my love of scrapbooking in my blog.
What I am working on:
Mohawk hats - one almost done only needed trim and ties. The second one has about 4 inches before I start decreasing. Here is the link to the pattern: http://knithappyri.com/2010/02/hello-world/. It's a great pattern.
Climbing Shells Preemie Ghan - http://danetteangels.tripod.com/patterns/climbingshells.html I am making two of these for one of the doctors that is adopting two children (3 and 5 yo's) from Ethiopia. I am extending the size. I think everyone needs something to suggle with.
Encompass by the Yarn Harlot. http://knithappyri.com/2010/02/hello-world/ another great pattern. Very easy and works up fast. I doing this in Bernat's Roving on pale green.
Misc projects
Clapotis (2) - one on size 3's and the other on size 8's. Guess which one is closer to being done.
Mitts - haven't started the thumb gusset yet
Socks - too many to mention. I have sss and have decided that wearing the same color socks in two different patterns if OK!
Whew, I have a lot to do before I allow myself to start a new project. That said I just put in a KnitPicks order for yarn for 5 new projects for myself ;) More on those tomorrow.
Peace & Love, Peace & Love
-Ringo Starr 2008
Friday, January 7, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
New Year New Look
Wishing yet again I could be a more faithful blogger but totally failing I try again hence the "new year, new look" title. Maybe that should be my motto for the year.
Not too much has changed on the homefront with our daughter. She is in another program after a relapse in the fall. She's looking towards a cosmetology school but the reality is she really should put all her plans on hold until her court date in a few weeks. I want to believe what I hear from her but always wonder is she just telling me what I want to hear.
Time to get back on track with my weight. Ha ha, don't we all (well most of us) say that this time of year, every year? I know I do. All I can say is that I am working on it.
As you can see Leonard hasn't changed much. He is such a beast these days, you would think he was never fed!
This is a memory quilt that I was asked to make for some former co-workers for the daughter of one of our secretaries that passed away this year. It was such a compliment to be asked to do this. I only wish I had more time to design this piece. My next quilt(s) will be a collection of my husband and daughter's t-shirts that need to be cleaned out.
Not too much has changed on the homefront with our daughter. She is in another program after a relapse in the fall. She's looking towards a cosmetology school but the reality is she really should put all her plans on hold until her court date in a few weeks. I want to believe what I hear from her but always wonder is she just telling me what I want to hear.
Time to get back on track with my weight. Ha ha, don't we all (well most of us) say that this time of year, every year? I know I do. All I can say is that I am working on it.
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| Sleeping Leonard |
This is a memory quilt that I was asked to make for some former co-workers for the daughter of one of our secretaries that passed away this year. It was such a compliment to be asked to do this. I only wish I had more time to design this piece. My next quilt(s) will be a collection of my husband and daughter's t-shirts that need to be cleaned out.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
it's been a while
Hmmmm, seems like I have said that before. New things about me since last post:
1. We have a new family member - Leonard the cat. He's a love adopted from Angelcat Haven in Attleboro, MA. Yes, he's named after the character on the Big Bang Theory.
2. I have lost 11.4 lbs on Weight Watchers. Had to do something, hit maximum density. Love feeling in control.
3. Still knitting up a storm.
4. Daughter is still not a home. She's in a program and doing very well. That's all for now. They go back to court next month.
5. Met my childhood boyfriend - Johnny Gage!!! See my profile picture. He actually came my office and hung out in our area for a bit.
6. We have the best friends in the world. That said I am a bit jealous of them (see #4 above and previous posts), but wouldn't take away their happiness for anything.
7. Really wish I could be more faithful in my writing. There are days I feel like I have adult ADD/ADHD. I just can't focus or stay on track.
8. I really need to start using my camera. I used to take the best photos. Now I have a great camera and never use it. That said, today I did photograph my homemade applesauce that I put up (5 pints).
That's all for now. It's good to be back.
1. We have a new family member - Leonard the cat. He's a love adopted from Angelcat Haven in Attleboro, MA. Yes, he's named after the character on the Big Bang Theory.
2. I have lost 11.4 lbs on Weight Watchers. Had to do something, hit maximum density. Love feeling in control.
3. Still knitting up a storm.
4. Daughter is still not a home. She's in a program and doing very well. That's all for now. They go back to court next month.
5. Met my childhood boyfriend - Johnny Gage!!! See my profile picture. He actually came my office and hung out in our area for a bit.
6. We have the best friends in the world. That said I am a bit jealous of them (see #4 above and previous posts), but wouldn't take away their happiness for anything.
7. Really wish I could be more faithful in my writing. There are days I feel like I have adult ADD/ADHD. I just can't focus or stay on track.
8. I really need to start using my camera. I used to take the best photos. Now I have a great camera and never use it. That said, today I did photograph my homemade applesauce that I put up (5 pints).
That's all for now. It's good to be back.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
lack of motivation
I guess that's what you would call it - I don't know. I just can't seem to get anything done. I cleaned my daughter's room for the most part since she won't be home for a while. On a more positive note I bought myself an Aero Pilates Machine. It takes a lot of space and I intend to put it to good use. I have to do this, I can't believe how I have let myself go. I am so sad over what I have done to myself. But spring is a time for new beginnings - just take a look outside. I know it's ok to be a little selfish right now. We have been through so much. Some how it sounds so entitled...
Anyways, we continue to visit on a weekly basis for a couple of hours. I am greatful that we are allowed this time to visit the way we do. I know if this goes another way we will be speaking through a glass partion potentially. Do you realize that? I don't really think so. I hope you are getitng the help you need. I wish you could understand your illness and accept it. I think you are of the mind that your meds will do all the work for you. That isn't and has never been the case.
Spring has sprung and the buds on all the trees are bugling waiting for that right mix of the season to burst into bloom. The lilacs outside the bathrorom window I expect to be so fragrant this year. The tree is it a bush has grown so much! Some of my perennials have come to life in the vegatable bed recently - fresh chives with our potatoes tonight :) There is lots of brush that we need to take care of but again as I started this with - lack of motivation.
You sound so happy today...your friends just left. Funny...two of the girls from a place we would have preferred to forget have become the truest of all your friends. For that I am greatful. Right now I am glad you are away from here without access to your former so called friends. So...where are they now? Not one of your "friends" the good and bad have contacted us to get in touch with you. Then again my heart aches because this must be such a lonely time for you. I hate to say this but you brought this all upon yourself.
I still have my moments of immense anger and sadness but they are moments and not days. They say time heals...this is gonna take a while.
Anyways, we continue to visit on a weekly basis for a couple of hours. I am greatful that we are allowed this time to visit the way we do. I know if this goes another way we will be speaking through a glass partion potentially. Do you realize that? I don't really think so. I hope you are getitng the help you need. I wish you could understand your illness and accept it. I think you are of the mind that your meds will do all the work for you. That isn't and has never been the case.
Spring has sprung and the buds on all the trees are bugling waiting for that right mix of the season to burst into bloom. The lilacs outside the bathrorom window I expect to be so fragrant this year. The tree is it a bush has grown so much! Some of my perennials have come to life in the vegatable bed recently - fresh chives with our potatoes tonight :) There is lots of brush that we need to take care of but again as I started this with - lack of motivation.
You sound so happy today...your friends just left. Funny...two of the girls from a place we would have preferred to forget have become the truest of all your friends. For that I am greatful. Right now I am glad you are away from here without access to your former so called friends. So...where are they now? Not one of your "friends" the good and bad have contacted us to get in touch with you. Then again my heart aches because this must be such a lonely time for you. I hate to say this but you brought this all upon yourself.
I still have my moments of immense anger and sadness but they are moments and not days. They say time heals...this is gonna take a while.
Friday, March 26, 2010
3/26/10
Just got off the phone with you. You sound so different. I also know it's the meds talking and if you were out in our world you would more than likely be more "with it" so to speak. For once I got to to express myself without an arguement from you. I don't know if it's your meds or you but it was nice.
Thre is a commerical on right now for making "easter eggs" - I know you are too old for all that kind of stuff but as your mom I proclaim it my right not to let some of that stuff go. I also realize that you are not always at home on Easter and with your other family and that's cool. It's the main reason Daddy and I have decdied to travel during the Easter holiday. It just made me so sad that I won't even be making the premise of an Easter basket for you this year. Heck my mom still would if Dad and I hadn'[t been married for almost 15 years. Actually she would if we were home.
That said I hope you see that based on decisions you have made for your life how much you affect others. Dad and I are trying to plan a vacation, yes, our first without you. I know what we told you last fall after our Disney trip, but honestly...do you really think we are so awful that we would have shut you out? As long as you were working or being productive...I don't know that we would have gone anywhere without you.
The major issue is trust. We don't have any at all. PERIOD. END OF CONVERSATION. You will have to fix that. Dad and I will have ot find other places to travel - but not Myrtle Beach or any where in Floriday for the moment. We truly can't travel where we have gone together.
too tired now - see you tomorrow.
love you.
Thre is a commerical on right now for making "easter eggs" - I know you are too old for all that kind of stuff but as your mom I proclaim it my right not to let some of that stuff go. I also realize that you are not always at home on Easter and with your other family and that's cool. It's the main reason Daddy and I have decdied to travel during the Easter holiday. It just made me so sad that I won't even be making the premise of an Easter basket for you this year. Heck my mom still would if Dad and I hadn'[t been married for almost 15 years. Actually she would if we were home.
That said I hope you see that based on decisions you have made for your life how much you affect others. Dad and I are trying to plan a vacation, yes, our first without you. I know what we told you last fall after our Disney trip, but honestly...do you really think we are so awful that we would have shut you out? As long as you were working or being productive...I don't know that we would have gone anywhere without you.
The major issue is trust. We don't have any at all. PERIOD. END OF CONVERSATION. You will have to fix that. Dad and I will have ot find other places to travel - but not Myrtle Beach or any where in Floriday for the moment. We truly can't travel where we have gone together.
too tired now - see you tomorrow.
love you.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I just don't know
For starters - this format is nasty! I must take the time to learn about designing my own blog. Right now though I have the attention span of a gnat!
We saw you the other day. It was so awkward, another person there listening to our family time to make sure we don't discuss your situation. You were wise enough to find a game to occupy our time with you. I broke down when we left I just can't bear it. I don't know why but I am so numb.
I talked to Sandy the other day...she told Daddy she wanted you number. So I called her for him - he was busy bailing out the basement again during the latest rainstorm. She told me she got her ring back - that's good for her anyways. I offered your telephone numbers to where you are and she didn't want them afterall. She didn't want to speak to you - sorry that may hurt but I am so done sugar coating her actions and comments. I have to be true to myself and now that you are an "adult" you get to hear the honest version, not the Kelli/Mommy protecting you version. I hate that too. All your life I have surgarcoated so much to protect your feelings. Anyways she asked for your mailing address so you can expect to get something from her.
It's funny you say you are so tired all the time. It must be your new meds, being a little depressed I am sure and pure fear of your future. I know I would just want to curl up in a ball. Dad and I aren't sleeping much anymore. We went to bed at 8:30 the other day but woke up at 1:00 am and were ready to face the new day. Maybe it was in anticipation of seeing you where you are...I don't know. Generally we get about 4 or 5 hours of sleep and that's about it. I worry so much about Daddy and his health, he's under so much stress right now. I take care of him the best I can.
Still extremely sad - hate that our doors are locked all the time. Hate that I can't leave the windows open during the day to get some fresh air in the house when I am at work for the kitties. They miss you too. They know something is wrong. Probably because I tore your room apart when we made our discovery two weeks ago and I am just now able to start putting it back together. If only our hearts, trust and faith in you were so easily repaired.
We saw you the other day. It was so awkward, another person there listening to our family time to make sure we don't discuss your situation. You were wise enough to find a game to occupy our time with you. I broke down when we left I just can't bear it. I don't know why but I am so numb.
I talked to Sandy the other day...she told Daddy she wanted you number. So I called her for him - he was busy bailing out the basement again during the latest rainstorm. She told me she got her ring back - that's good for her anyways. I offered your telephone numbers to where you are and she didn't want them afterall. She didn't want to speak to you - sorry that may hurt but I am so done sugar coating her actions and comments. I have to be true to myself and now that you are an "adult" you get to hear the honest version, not the Kelli/Mommy protecting you version. I hate that too. All your life I have surgarcoated so much to protect your feelings. Anyways she asked for your mailing address so you can expect to get something from her.
It's funny you say you are so tired all the time. It must be your new meds, being a little depressed I am sure and pure fear of your future. I know I would just want to curl up in a ball. Dad and I aren't sleeping much anymore. We went to bed at 8:30 the other day but woke up at 1:00 am and were ready to face the new day. Maybe it was in anticipation of seeing you where you are...I don't know. Generally we get about 4 or 5 hours of sleep and that's about it. I worry so much about Daddy and his health, he's under so much stress right now. I take care of him the best I can.
Still extremely sad - hate that our doors are locked all the time. Hate that I can't leave the windows open during the day to get some fresh air in the house when I am at work for the kitties. They miss you too. They know something is wrong. Probably because I tore your room apart when we made our discovery two weeks ago and I am just now able to start putting it back together. If only our hearts, trust and faith in you were so easily repaired.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
This can't be happening to us..
I don't believe it...my daughter is going to jail! Without all the details, she is in a psychiatric facility now being evaluated for competency. She will be there for a couple more weeks.
We are not horrible people or parents. I still think I am in shock as I feel so numb, dead inside.
That said I thought I could let her know whats going on and my thoughts. I don't know, maybe all this is verbal vomiting, purging myself of feelings. My mind is so scattered and unfocused. It's been a week now and I've debated starting writing again so here it goes...
You have no idea what you have done to yourself. So adult, don't want to listen to anyone. Look what you did to yourself! Look at what you have done to your father. I don't know how you can stand yourself knowing you have made your hero cry on a regular basis. Because my heart physically aches everytime I see him. I am here trying to be strong for all of us. I can barely leave the house to go to work. Speaking of which I have had to inform my boss and co workers of your predictament as I have no idea where this is going. Your dad has done the same. I don't know how we are ever going to be able to go to the grocery store.
Thankfully we have a lot of people that love us - friends and family alike and for that I (we) are eternally greatful. However that doesn't take away the overwhelming sadness and emptyness that overcomes us when we are alone or stop moving. This is not the life we planned when you were a little girl for any of us. We had dreams for us - for you. And now they are shattered.
How can we celebrate anything? Christmas? Your birthday? Please tell me how? Easter is in two weeks - tell me please how we are going to get through this. Not being able to do even the littlest thing for you, for us....I can't stand this. Last Saturday I had an absolute melt down over a pizza pan. I can kiss those nights goodbye. No more girl nites.
As we have told you many times over the years, you are a representative of this family. What you do affects us. The world is not just all about you. You seriously need to recognize that and grow up.
The story has made the paper, no names for now though. But your friends names are in it and it won't take a genius to put things together.
It's a goreous spring day today - I'm sorry you are going to miss it.
We are not horrible people or parents. I still think I am in shock as I feel so numb, dead inside.
That said I thought I could let her know whats going on and my thoughts. I don't know, maybe all this is verbal vomiting, purging myself of feelings. My mind is so scattered and unfocused. It's been a week now and I've debated starting writing again so here it goes...
You have no idea what you have done to yourself. So adult, don't want to listen to anyone. Look what you did to yourself! Look at what you have done to your father. I don't know how you can stand yourself knowing you have made your hero cry on a regular basis. Because my heart physically aches everytime I see him. I am here trying to be strong for all of us. I can barely leave the house to go to work. Speaking of which I have had to inform my boss and co workers of your predictament as I have no idea where this is going. Your dad has done the same. I don't know how we are ever going to be able to go to the grocery store.
Thankfully we have a lot of people that love us - friends and family alike and for that I (we) are eternally greatful. However that doesn't take away the overwhelming sadness and emptyness that overcomes us when we are alone or stop moving. This is not the life we planned when you were a little girl for any of us. We had dreams for us - for you. And now they are shattered.
How can we celebrate anything? Christmas? Your birthday? Please tell me how? Easter is in two weeks - tell me please how we are going to get through this. Not being able to do even the littlest thing for you, for us....I can't stand this. Last Saturday I had an absolute melt down over a pizza pan. I can kiss those nights goodbye. No more girl nites.
As we have told you many times over the years, you are a representative of this family. What you do affects us. The world is not just all about you. You seriously need to recognize that and grow up.
The story has made the paper, no names for now though. But your friends names are in it and it won't take a genius to put things together.
It's a goreous spring day today - I'm sorry you are going to miss it.
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