Another Wednesday

Taking a mental health day today.  The stressors in my life have caught up with me - darling daughter's situation, MIL is back at a rehab and hoping we can keep her there till she gets strong enough to go home, and dad has just been placed at a rehab after back surgery with complications. 

What will I do today?

1.  Knit - see what I am working on:

 http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEw11/PATTchrysanthemum.php

I really love this pattern.  Actually I have discovered how much I enjoy working with charts and doing the color work. This is a lot further along than pictured.

2.  Car wash - my Jeep needs a bath and a vacuum.

3.  Pilates - get a workout on my performer.

4.  Zumba - just bought the dvd's and will get a session in while the hubs is at hockey.
     Why not just go to a class?  After driving all day the last thing I want is to get back in
     the car to go anywhere in the evening.  I won't even get into what an unbelievable
    dork I am when it comes to any type of dance/class situation.  I am so self conscious 
    too.  Looked like fun we will see how it goes.

5.  Dinner with my man.  Yup, making an appointment for this one.  We have been out
     of sync for a week plus now.  He's had a man-cold and with everything listed above
     plus our work schedules we need to re-connect. 

6.  Get my nails done.  A little pampering is good.

Have a wonderful day.

sometimes it just doesn't matter

I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel like I just don't rate.  Maybe it's what we have been going through with our daughter over the last 10 months.  Maybe it's always been there.  I just feel so inadequate. I am nothing special and maybe I am just over reacting to my husband's pissy mood - to which he will not discuss with me.

It's a feeling that has always been there but sometimes it seems to dominate everything.  Is this what paranoia feels like?  I don't know, too textbooky.  The wife of our best friend couple called today - I am going to be an "associate" grandmother!  Her son and his wife are expecting a baby in August.  I think this is what set it off...

What iced the cake is that tomorrow is my husband's birthday; ok so he has to work until 8:30 and I am planning on meeting him at our local hangout - I've also invited his best friend (see above) and want them to tell him the good news in person.  But my brother in law just called to see if he, my husband, wanted to get together on Sunday for his birthday.  I don't know, maybe it's just not how my family does things which in itself if pretty lame - we've been together for 18 years and I don't know what to do with his family.   Both of his parents are not aging well so I don't want to ask anything of them, it would be cool if they could remember his birthday. 

Pardon me tonight, I think its Vitamin D deprivation.  It snowed again today and I worked from home.  I just feel like crap.

Made a hat; gauge is too tight -

 It fits, but it's not slouchy...whatever, I guess this is just how things are going to roll.

Have a good night

catching up

First of all, if anyone reading this can recommend a site for online blog training/education, please leave a comment.  I am hoping to move towards a journaling / scrapbooking type of blog incorporating photos etc...

Finished the mohawk hats - great pattern, just finished a third hat for the girl next door.  Will probably make a few more for the kids of co-workers too.

Started the Wendy Johnson Heart to Heart socks for myself for Valentines Day.  Have about 3" done on one.  Tough charts!  This aging thing is for the birds - I couldn't read the charts! I usually copy row by row onto index cards to make it easier when I take the project out of my house.  It was quite the photocopier project.

1/3 done with the Encompass cowl.  Love it but don't love the Bernat Roving I am doing it in.  May frog this one and use the yarn for another hat.

Court has been put off for two months for DD.  Both Eric and I received summons' to appear for the prosecution.  I told him he and our attorneys just have to find a way to get me out of testifying.  I can't do it.  Yup the kid is a mess up and has done me and her father wrong in a huge way but while I believe she needs to pay for her actions, and be responsible and accountable I can't bear the notion of saying "my daughter is in jail".  We live in Massachusetts, home of pretty tough gun laws.  Her "mother' wants her to go to jail and to learn her lesson, I'm just not sure if she needs to learn those kind of lessons.  Clearly the kid psychological issues (bipolar I, ADHD, and so on) along with a female disorder that would certainly rock anyones world (MRKH - look it up) I don't know that prison is going to help her.  I just don't know.

Happy Tuesday - stay dry!

TGIF

It's Friday and it's supposed to snow...again.  The holiday's are officially over for 2010-11 as I took the tree down last night.  The living room seems so sad with out it.   This year I did a firefighter themed tree.  Every ornament was fireman related with gold balls and white lights.  It's my favorite tree.

Goal for 2011:
1.  Find some type of blogging class and do it!  I would love to incorporate my love of scrapbooking in my blog. 

What I am working on:

Mohawk hats - one almost done only needed trim and ties.  The second one has about 4 inches before I start decreasing.  Here is the link to the pattern:  http://knithappyri.com/2010/02/hello-world/.  It's a great pattern.

Climbing Shells Preemie Ghan - http://danetteangels.tripod.com/patterns/climbingshells.html I am making two of these for one of the doctors that is adopting two children (3 and 5 yo's) from Ethiopia.  I am extending the size.  I think everyone needs something to suggle with.

Encompass by the Yarn Harlot.  http://knithappyri.com/2010/02/hello-world/ another great pattern.  Very easy and works up fast.  I doing this in Bernat's Roving on pale green. 

Misc projects
Clapotis (2) - one on size 3's and the other on size 8's.  Guess which one is closer to being done.
Mitts - haven't started the thumb gusset yet
Socks - too many to mention.  I have sss and have decided that wearing the same color socks in two different patterns if OK!

Whew, I have a lot to do before I allow myself to start a new project.  That said I just put in a KnitPicks order for yarn for 5 new projects for myself ;)  More on those tomorrow.

Peace & Love, Peace & Love
-Ringo Starr 2008

New Year New Look

Wishing yet again I could be a more faithful blogger but totally failing I try again hence the "new year, new look" title.  Maybe that should be my motto for the year. 

Not too much has changed on the homefront with our daughter.  She is in another program after a relapse in the fall.  She's looking towards a cosmetology school but the reality is she really should put all her plans on hold until her court date in a few weeks.  I want to believe what I hear from her but always wonder is she just telling me what I want to hear.

Time to get back on track with my weight.  Ha ha, don't we all (well most of us) say that this time of year, every year?  I know I do.  All I can say is that I am working on it.



Sleeping Leonard

 As you can see Leonard hasn't changed much.  He is such a beast these days, you would think he was never fed!















This is a memory quilt that I was asked to make for some former co-workers for the daughter  of one of our secretaries that passed away this year.  It was such a compliment to be asked to do this.  I only wish I had more time to design this piece.  My next quilt(s) will be a collection of my husband and daughter's t-shirts that need to be cleaned out.

it's been a while

Hmmmm, seems like I have said that before.  New things about me since last post:

1.  We have a new family member - Leonard the cat.  He's a love adopted from Angelcat Haven in Attleboro, MA.  Yes, he's named after the character on the Big Bang Theory.

2.  I have lost 11.4 lbs on Weight Watchers.  Had to do something, hit maximum density.  Love feeling in control. 

3.  Still knitting up a storm.

4.  Daughter is still not a home.  She's in a program and doing very well.  That's all for now.  They go back to court next month.

5.  Met my childhood boyfriend - Johnny Gage!!! See my profile picture.  He actually came my office and hung out in our area for a bit. 

6.  We have the best friends in the world.  That said I am a bit jealous of them (see #4 above and previous posts), but wouldn't take away their happiness for anything.

7.  Really wish I could be more faithful in my writing.  There are days I feel like I have adult ADD/ADHD.  I just can't focus or stay on track. 

8.  I really need to start using my camera. I used to take the best photos.  Now I have a great camera and never use it.  That said, today I did photograph my homemade applesauce that I put up (5 pints).

That's all for now.  It's good to be back.

lack of motivation

I guess that's what you would call it - I don't know.  I just can't seem to get anything done.  I cleaned my daughter's room for the most part since she won't be home for a while.  On a more positive note I bought myself an Aero Pilates Machine.  It takes a lot of space and I intend to put it to good use.  I have to do this, I can't believe how I have let myself go.  I am so sad over what I have done to myself.  But spring is a time for new beginnings - just take a look outside. I know it's ok to be a little selfish right now.  We have been through so much.  Some how it sounds so entitled...

Anyways, we continue to visit on a weekly basis for a couple of hours.  I am greatful that we are allowed this time to visit the way we do.  I know if this goes another way we will be speaking through a glass partion potentially.  Do you realize that?  I don't really think so.  I hope you are getitng the help you need.  I wish you could understand your illness and accept it.  I think you are of the mind that your meds will do all the work for you.  That isn't and has never been the case.

Spring has sprung and the buds on all the trees are bugling waiting for that right mix of the season to burst into bloom.  The lilacs outside the bathrorom window I expect to be so fragrant this year.  The tree is it a bush has grown so much!  Some of my perennials have come to life in the vegatable bed recently - fresh chives with our potatoes tonight :)  There is lots of brush that we need to take care of but again as I started this with - lack of motivation. 

You sound so happy today...your friends just left.  Funny...two of the girls from a place we would have  preferred to forget have become the truest of all your friends.  For that I am greatful.  Right now I am glad you are away from here without access to your former so called friends.  So...where are they now?  Not one of your "friends" the good and bad have contacted us to get in touch with you.  Then again my heart aches because this must be such a lonely time for you.   I hate to say this but you brought this all upon yourself. 

I still have my moments of immense anger and sadness but they are moments and not days. They say time heals...this is gonna take a while.